If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
At this time of year, there’s always the strong scent of optimism in the air. And while it’s great to look forward, set resolutions and make plans, you also have to be realistic about what you can achieve. If you’re someone who sets resolutions only to break them a few weeks later, check out the tips in this post (but after you’ve read this one!).
I think the sense of achievement and pride you get when you hit a goal should be bottled. When was the last time you had that feeling, punched the air and shouted “I did it!”?
I want to make a change. Where do I start?
Overwhelm is a common reason for not making change stick. We often bite off more than we can chew and put too much pressure on ourselves to deliver. And what happens when you end up spinning too many plates? That’s right, they all drop. Nothing is achieved.
There are times when we all feel like this, me included. In reality, everything can be done, but not everything needs to be done right now. Changing one thing at a time is much more achievable plan.
I’ve used this approach over the last few years to balance work with other important aspects of my life that needed my attention. On the work front, I chose one important thing to work on at a time and delivered each one. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, breaking things down into manageable tasks or chunks can help.
Colleagues have been aware of my need to focus on this other aspect of my life, so they understood when I perhaps wasn’t as responsive or as productive as usual. I felt content and calm that I had made the right choice.
Looking forward to future achievements
Having given an area of my life the attention and focus it deserved, I’m now in a new phase of looking forward. I’m using what I’ve learned to make sure I focus on the most important person or task that will lead me to that same sense of accomplishment and calm.
If I ever catch myself thinking ‘I’m not sure when that’s going to happen’ (which experience tells me leads to stress), I adjust my thinking to ensure I don’t agree to a deadline I will struggle to meet. This is a step change for me. One that I intend will have positive impact on my health and wellbeing. I love focusing on projects and seeing them through to completion, feeling that sense of achievement. I’ve realised I can’t do this if time frames are unrealistic.
This is something we know we should do, but don’t always do in reality - and this is when overwhelm can strike and the plates drop.
Make an emotional connection to the change
When you want to make a change, think carefully about why you’re doing it. The greater the emotional connection you have to the change, the better. Be super clear in your mind about what the change looks, feels, and sounds like.
Once you’re clear on your emotional connection, think about the one thing you want and need to do to make the change happen. Be honest with yourself. What are the benefits of making the change? What will happen if you don’t do it? When the benefits outweigh the consequences, it’s time to start making the change happen.
When things start to go pear-shaped...
If things get tricky, go back to your emotional connection. You know it’s the right thing to do.
Another thing that can help when things get tough is to involve other people in your life, so they know what’s going on and can support and guide you. I don’t know where the quote came from, but I always believe, ‘With information people will act wisely.’
Before I finish, here’s one final tip to manage other’s expectations whilst you focus on your change.
Explain that you have other projects that need your attention right now.
Be clear and honest about when you will have time to focus on what they want or need.
Keep them updated if timings need to change.
Deliver as you’ve suggested.
The other person can adjust their work schedule with the knowledge and understanding of when you’re likely to be back with them. This helps to build relationships and gives you both the feel-good factor.
I’m not a mental health expert, however I believe that focusing on just ‘one’ thing at a time is a positive step for our mental wellbeing. What do you think? Do you already find this approach useful in life? Please share your hints and tips and help us all embrace our mental health whilst making positive changes in our lives.